9 August 2015

09/08/2015

Feeling warm and fuzzy inside reading through dedication posts and seeing even those who complain about this country all the time thankful for having been born Singaporean. Politics have never been my thing and I would never survive in the army but when Count On Me played just now I told myself I would give my best and more for this country. It's not easy to always be counting our blessings and we've all done our fair share of complaining but at the end of the day I'm confident we'll all sing the same tune.

I wouldn't go as far to say my 9 months overseas changed much or is much worse than living here but it is true there are days all I want is to come home. Not for the food, not for our skyline, not for anything material but really because I am never really alone here. Grateful as I am for technology there really is nothing like sitting at a playground talking to my friends into the wee hours of the night.

We drift and we float on in different directions; we're at a point in our lives where our sails need adjusting maybe too often for my liking but just the thought of being able to grow up and build this country together is a comfort. It's a complex feeling, being proud of even people I don't know. When I look at these ah boys to men in uniform I'm filled with pride because they have struggled and conquered what many of them never wanted to do in the first place, and in themselves instilled a new sense of love for the country, but more of what comes with it. It almost feels like while I was rotting away at home they have climbed a level higher and grown up.

I whine all the time about my friends at uni camps mostly because I'm bitter they are making new friends and not hanging out with me (:() and I stay true to what I say- I don't see the point of these camps or rag, but it's prolly the last time in their lives they will be able to do such things so I try to shut up and move on (but omg it's so hard). Deep down I know they are growing too while they assume new responsibilities and lead their oglings, perhaps at the expense of others (and their bodies), but all of that will pass and those who are meant to stay will stay. I've accepted while friendship is a two-way street there will never be 2 people moving at the same speed, and we all tend to veer off-course from time to time #life. With the slew of articles on discarding "toxic" friends making its way around social media I've been obsessed with throwing friends who don't put in effort away, but after coming back I realised... I don't want people to discard me, and I'm sure I'm pretty toxic too. You don't leave toxic friends alone, you DETOX THEM lolol put them on a juice cleanse ok I'm kidding but u geddit.

Wow I have DIGRESSED A LOT this is probably why I did not get an A for GP but anyway tl;dr happy national day to everyone  I'm going to do my best for this nation and also I'm v proud of this generation and am vvv excited to grow with you all esp u my aitong sch mates bc #xscl will always have a special place in my heart

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