Just woke up from my 3.5h nap was really intended to be only 25mins and a trip to the gym so now I'm feeling unfit and annoyed because this means I won't be able to sleep till... whenever. Not feeling the holiday hype because it actually feels more like my holiday is ENDING.
At the top of my to-do list now is 1) make a study plan and 2) study and I want!! to!! do!! well!! so!! badly!!! but I was so lazy after finishing my assignment this morning I just couldn't be bothered doing anything for the rest of the day.
Updated my accounts and realised that I only have 2 more months of updating left before I head home and I don't know why but the thought of it made me sad-- it's like the transience of this whole studying overseas thing has just hit me and I don't want this to be temporary; I want what I have back in SG but I don't want to leave what I have here either :( life is so tOUgh when u waNT IT ALL.
I was thinking the other day if life here really is easier than it is back home as everyone likes to say, and it really isn't. It's not easy, but it's worth it and exciting because it forces you to grow; living here all on your own means you make mistakes and learn the little things sooner and are forced to do things that have to be done. Mistakes like forgetting to put in detergent when doing laundry or booking 6am flights and learning never to do it again because there is a high chance everybody will sleep through the alarm, calling up airlines demanding for refunds and actually getting the refund. Little grown-up things like writing my own cheques and formal emails, booking and planning all my own trips. It's a chance to learn what spoilt milk really tastes like (literally)(and prolly figuratively too??), or the fastest way to chop garlic, the art of onion dicing etc. but it gets tough too when you're sick and have to crawl to Boots half-dead for medicine, boil your own liang teh and lay awake all alone in the middle of the night with a fever 0.3 degreesC away from potential brain damage.
but you learn from it all, you learn you have to take your VitC and make sure your yin yang is balanced (LOL), learn how to read contracts, how to end emails properly, how long milk lasts, how bloody long it takes for barley to get soft, or how the best way to deal with shit happening is to keep calm and takes things as they go bc there is no point dealing with it any other way. It's like all the things I dreaded having to do before come here are the things I'm most grateful for having had the chance to do, but also the most seemingly insignificant.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, the idea that life here is easier, and I kinda have a problem with it but don't. I half hate it when people tell me my life is so easy because I know what it feels like living life thinking all the time that someone else has it better than you do. but fact is in this situation (ie. comparing studying in uni and studying ovs only) it's all up to you how good you want your life to be. I also half love it bc it's a self-fuLFILLING proPhecy hEEheE okay if everyone keeps telling me how they are jealous I will just feel v good about life and why n0t???
also a main point of this post is to dispel myths that the curriculum here is easier haha
stop saying "aiyah UK also don't need study one right" I will throw my shoe at you, feed you my notes and make you sit through one of my 4-person tutorials.