If I don't proclaim or I am not as opinionated does it mean I'm less? If I'm not sociable am I less too? What if I genuinely don't care? Am I supposed to pretend I'm interested in your day and what you're eating for lunch just because I call myself a Christian?? Will that make me a better one????? Pretending???? When I don't mean a thing I say????? Am I less because my facebook timeline is not flooded with articles about God??? Will I become a better Christian if I start posting verse after verse on my instagram and caption every cloud and sky with how great God's creations are???
and what if I don't??? What if I have less friends in church?
Does that make me less?? Does it make me less because I find it difficult to socialise? Am I not holy enough because I don't interact with people who make me uncomfortable??? Not a good christian because I'm not a social butterfly who knows about everyone's struggles in life?? Off the right track because??
I can't answer these questions; maybe I am less
I miss going to church back home so much it's unreal; I really am missing all the things I never thought I would miss, missing the uncomfortable wooden pews and the little family of struggling friends I had there to keep me awake during sermons, missing each time we gathered to sing, missing my sources of support I took all for granted etcetcetc. Maybe I've been making excuses because I'm not ready to let go and be part of the family here; and what if I am????? (am I less???)
I'm so glad I'm going to be able to travel with YL during Easter ahhh really a much needed taste of home and we'll be FINALLY travelling together after 2 years of talking about it.
I've been talking and thinking about going home so much these days (quote Rebecca 3 more periods to going home)(gross but yes)(exciting way of counting down)(shall make a countdown)(114 days)(hahhaahahahha)(omg my kitty i need to see my kitty my kitty my kitty :'(((((((((().