29 November 2014

I'm going crazy writing this stupid 2-page report; I cannot decide what I should include and what I shouldn't because I have to squeeze everything in 2 pages, my kiasuness is taking over and I feel the need to analyse everything statistically even though my course mates haven't even learnt hypothesis testing and thus it is not required, my eyes hurt from reading so many articles (the words are SO SMALL omg ok I know I can always zoom in but I don't and now I regret) but I'm still happy I guess and happier for everyone who has finished exams (both uni and A's!!!!!)!!! Feeling so proud and wishing I could go through it with you all and share that sense of !!liberation!! again.

That's another thing I've realised I don't like about uni (or maybe it's just the culture here)-- we all do things like, on our own?? Also my fellow asians have agreed on this one thing about Singaporeans: we somehow manage to be the most competitive but also the most united/supportive when it comes to studying. It feels so good listening to friends from other countries talk about us this way ("Singaporeans are the nicest people I know" surprise, surprise!!!) because it makes me feel such pride for every soul who has come here and ~represented~ sg.

Happiness aside I've been feeling a bit apprehensive but I can't quite put a finger on it. Maybe it's because I've had like 30 tabs of journal articles open for the past few days and I can't scroll through tumblr without feeling bad for procrastinating, maybe I'm scared December won't go well, maybe I'm starting to lose myself again, maybe my subconscious keeps reminding me that I have exams in Jan and no time to study, maybe I'm sad because so many of my friends are going back home and I can't etcetc. I don't know what it is but it's nagging at me and I want it gone.

I'm so glad it's Friday night again. I had only one lesson today and spent the rest of the day watching my shows and attempting to write my paper that my group mates have all finished and which I only started on last night. Today during tutorial they were asking for comments from my supervisor so I just sat there with the other guy, faces in hands, and yawned for 30 minutes.

Yesterday when I was walking downstairs to cook I looked out of the window because they put up christmas lights at the reception and I like christmas lights like 老鼠爱大米 and saw a Santa Claus waving at me. He shouted something but as usual I couldn't hear so I just laughed and went downstairs to cook. Speaking of cooking I still cannot find my frying pan????!!!! This is totally ridiculous okay. I have a feeling it's the burnt pan with yellow stuff dripping down the sides that has been sitting on the counter for 3 days, but I treat my pots and pans with TLC so either it's really lost or somebody used it and BURNT IT BEYOND RECOGNITION...... . . .. . .....

I love how it's getting colder (and wetter too but I don't like that part) and I can't wait till it gets so cold everyone has to wrap up and look down while walking outside. I don't know why I like the cold so much or why I'm not sick of it yet. I think it's a good thing but it might also be a result of my ever-increasing BMI (I haven't taken my weight in months and I don't really want to)(I can feel my second chin growing).

Sorry wordy random post I just felt like talking today (because I've said a total of less than 50 words the entire day probably)
I'm going to try this again......... ask me questions pls ask.fm/gpng_ when I created this account I had 7 questions from askfm and now 4 (or so) months later I still have 7 questions (one of which is "have you downloaded ask.fm for iPhone?")(NO).

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