20 August 2014

~A post dedicated to my stupidity~

I have done nothing productive with my life in the past 10 days (in fact I've been doing things that lead to NEGATIVE productivity if that is possible) and i'M JUZ SITTING HERE wasting oxygen when I was supposed to be in Cambodia installing water filters... because I don't have my passport......... because when I went to apply for my visa last Tuesday...... the lady at the counter clearly told me "we will keep your passport for 15 working days........... and I very very coolly (the coolest I've ever been in my life) laughed and told her "yeah ok no problem" WHILE SMILING THE ENTIRE TIME............. and so my application went into the system........ and my Cambodia plans went down the drain.......... together with a lot of money..................... and it PAINS my heart to know that if I had just remembered 2 minutes before she entered it into the system everything would be fine???!!!!! I hate myself.

Since then I have spent a lot of other money because my filling dropped out, like the entire thing just DROPPED OUT while I was eating my garlic bread and for a full 2 minutes I thought it was just a piece of extremely hard garlic (and I still remember when I did this filling which was in sec school in that blue mobile container and it was done quite badly but because I was as cool 3 years ago as I am now I told the dentist that it'd do) and it cost maybe 2000 little packets of seaweed (omg).

Ok so in summary nothing is going right in my life because of my underused brain and as a result of this I have been feeling very shitty about myself because I can't seem to do anything right. Right now I just want to a) rewind time to one year ago when I felt like a rather smart kid and had a 'you-are-good-enough' study plan to follow everyday or b) start school so that I feel less stupid and I know what you are thinking now I know it's bad to be living like this but the last month is so torturous :'( Half of me cannot wait to fly and the other half just wants to go back in time.

There are so many things going on in my head I can't even keep track anymore and they are STUPID and unimportant things which I feel I need to write down like er.... okay some examples...... 1. don't succumb to 3 pound ben and jerry pints when in UK, 2. bring chilli padi, 3. how should I decorate my room when the walls are going to be YELLOW? 4. how much should I put aside for shopping every month? 5. will I ever get bored of yoghurt/cereal for breakfast? 6. am I going to lose weight or gain weight? 7. I really want to try sky diving but what if I die (okay I just resolved this problem like 5 seconds ago!!! I shall sky dive when I'm ready to die) and 1000 other irrelevant concerns.

Okay other significant things happening in my life.... I am officially the brokest I've ever been in my life, I have been listening to Sting and it's so weird because I either hate or love his songs, I have pinned a LOT of one-pot pasta recipes which I think will do me good in the near future, Hey Jude would be a better song if it weren't SEVEN MINUTES long (don't hate me for this okay it's just the lowly opinion of a girl with bad music taste if you disagree) , I should start packing, my blog posts are a waste of anyone's time, I need to stop eating fried chicken but KFC just re-released their meltz and I meltz @ meltz (haahahhaa) and my concern of the month is WHERE IS MY SLEEPING BAG and why is the wifi so bad on my bed?????

I'm now so wary because I've realised that bonds formed fastest break the easiest (as a SCIENCE STUDENT this goes against all my known theories). For all the time I spend on tumblr reading quotes telling me not to make homes out of people and how talk is cheap I have not done well like maybe 38/100 try harder grace.

Not even a star for u.

Ok I'm kidding 5 stars for you happy natonial day Singapore unlike Singapore you are 30 years younger and I have faith that you can become a better person if you try harder so don't give up and same goes to everyone else who is actually free enough to read this piece of rubbish post and feels like a horrible person. If we try hard together we can get to 70/100.

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